We were super-intrigued by the concept of debitching, coined by Brighton-based empowerment coach Jess Nicks, so we asked her to give us the lowdown on just how it can help you sort your head out. Over to Jess…
Have you ever stopped to think how your life might be different if your thoughts were helpful, not a hindrance on this quest called Life? What might be possible, and what’d you be doing differently if you weren’t so scared of judgement, if you weren’t making excuses for not doing things?
Here’s the thing; your internal monologue, that voice you hear all day long, is in fact a Bitch. For clarity, I’m not saying YOU are a bitch, I’m saying your inner critic is a Bitch. And cor blimey, does she have an agenda for getting in your way. For making you believe things that keep you stuck like super glue, such as other people are ‘better’ than you at pretty much everything.
Meet the Bitches
There is a whole Cast of Bitches, led by The Mother of All Bitches, that really nasty, judgemental voice that crushes your soul and pisses on your spirit. The rest of the cast – Anxious Bitch, Imposter Bitch, Woe-is-Me Bitch to name just a few, may play cameo roles in your life at different times, to varying degrees. But know this – all are unhelpful if you do not learn to question them and transform their meaning.
Let’s re-e-wind to the ancestral times of the Cave Bitches. Your brain’s natural default setting is to keep you safe, away from wild beasts and nestled safely in the bosom of the tribe. Which is why it’s so great at spotting negative things in your life. Your Anxious Bitch is trying to keep you safe, but unfortunately she’s taken things too far, creating overwhelm and stress with post-it-notes galore and missing iPhone cables – high-drama everywhere she goes.
The art of Debitching Your Brain begins with awareness. Your ability to spot when your brain’s operating system has flipped into Bitch Mode. The more you can catch the Bitch at work, the stronger your mental muscles become. Meaning you can learn to spend more time thinking with intention and clarity instead of listening to BITCH FM.
Let the Wise Woman out
Once you start realising when and where your Bitches are at play, you can start to recognise patterns in your behaviour, your thinking, your decision making, that are making your life waaaahey more difficult than it needs to be.
So how would you be living differently if your bitches weren’t causing so much mischief? Now you know there are bitches at work in your brain, you can start to flip the script and call upon the powers of your inner Wise Woman; there are many tools at your disposal, you just need to know what they are and how to use them! Here are a few for starters.
- If your thinking is creating limits, not options, you know the bitch is at work. See how many times you spot this happening every day. The more you spot, the stronger your mental muscles become.
- Question your thoughts! How much truth is in this? What is the evidence? What else could it mean?
- Give your bitch a name, an identity that’s separate from your own. This gives YOU back the control of your mind. Oh hey, Anxious Amelia, thanks for stopping by, but your hyper vigilance is not needed in the office today!
A wise woman knows to stop listening to Bitch FM. So if you only do one thing today, start questioning your thoughts instead of believing them!
Happy Debitching!
Fancy finding out more about how to tame that inner bitch? Jess is running a free (and suitably fun and sweary) workshop online on Wednesday 15th March.
You can also listen to her great podcast here and learn more about her and her work here.
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